lets get personal

HAPPY NEW YEAR!! (Be you w/a checklist)

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Happy New Year, family, friends, boys, girls, men, and women.  This is the time where we reflect on how much we went through, and how much we got through in the year 2018.  Let’s remember those we lost and those we gained in 2018.  Let’s thank God for all the positive, negative, and neutral experiences, we have had in 2018. Now that we have done that, let’s set aside a list of our goals for 2019.  Things we have already started working towards and things that we intend to work towards.  There is nothing wrong with this list.  It takes ten to fifteen minutes max to jot down this list of things we wish to fulfill within this year.  Mark the date you completed them, if you have already done it.  Mark the date you started working towards that goal, if you have not yet completed.  Check it off when you are done, lets make this Checklist idea float around, because everyone has goals, and it feels so much more real and achievable if we jot it down, remind ourselves daily, that we have something that we need to be doing, we have so much to accomplish this year.  We need to make every year greater than the one before, not just for ourselves but for our children, or families, but just know that everyone has something that they haven’t accomplished that they would love to accomplish.  Make your list, keep it to yourself, or share it with a best friend or loved one, just do it.  

-No Mind is better or bigger than a mind that comes up with a plan and sticks to it.                                                                                                                                    -E.K

Let This Be You.  New Year. Check-List. Be You!!!!!! Happy New Year!

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Chronicles of a girl with Textured Hair!!! ‘Is it the texture of my hair?’

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Is It the way it fluffs,

or the way my ends split?

The way it bounces,

when I pull the rollers out of it?

Do you notice me,

or my negro hair?

The way it naps up when it’s dry and curls when its wet?

Or is it because of my hair you haven’t noticed me yet?

They say ‘be your self’ and “don’t change for anyone’,

But when I come to you, you squint then you run.

Am I not the girl, you were dying to love,

Or was it someone with straight hair, that you were dreaming of?

That job turned me down because of my hair,

It wasn’t because of the clothes I would wear.

It just isn’t fair,

But then again nothing is.

They rather you wear it in a bun instead of a twist.

This negro hair is something that they can resist.

We are so stuck on straight, long, slick, and fine,

That we can’t enjoy our texture, is negro hair a crime?

The girl with the fro is unethical,

Because of her hair They are a little skeptical.

The girl with the long hair can sit in the front,

They send the girl with the short hair to the back so they can front.

What is the reality of not loving our hair?

Change is what we need, for someone to care.

How you gonna treat me like I’m not beautiful,

Inside and out?

Because My hair is the only thing you can think about.

Let go of your ways,

For still we will stay,

As we wear our afro’s,

In the sun Rays.

Love us for us,

For we may never be enough,

For anyone in this world if they can’t accept it;

A girl with her negro hair, the way she kept it.-  Erica D King

 

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BEING ON PAYROLL IS NOT ENOUGH: Journal#2

over workedToday I woke up prepared for an amazing day.  I knew things would get a little tricky, because I certainly do not have a perfect life, and I wouldn’t say things were normally easy and breezy for me.  I come to work and Of course, as usual I am the first person there.  Not knowing or expecting that I would be the ONLY Person at work, working harder than the ones on salary, at some point.  I do so much work and get so little. Like Appreciation is a two way street.  I love my job trust me and I am thankful that I have my job but sometimes I want to be appreciated a little more.  I don’t get enough credit for the things I do, but who does? We give so much in life and not necessarily to prove ourselves to anyone, just because we are amazing.  Our work ethics are phenomenal, we know that if we don’t get certain things done on time that our work load would be enormous and we actually CARE about our jobs. I know that at the end of the day I will not get the credit that i feel like I deserve or even the credit that I want to get.  I will at least go home knowing that I did my best, I worked the hardest, I was the only one in the office, I give ***** about my job and I am amazing at it.  These Employers know that we are awesome, but some of them don’t take the initiative to acknowledge, what we do.  Being on payroll is not enough.  Being recognized for how we go above and beyond on a regular is what warms our heart, or makes us push more because we know we are appreciated for our great habits.  I did let this steal my joy, but only for a moment.  Tomorrow I will be back in there doing the same thing and the cycle would never end. So I am dedicating this Journal entry to my emotions today, and I will not revisit this situation because it will only make me more upset, and fill me with unnecessary rage.  If you are having a tough day at work, so am I and this Journal entry is also dedicated to you. Keep your work ethics, and keep doing the good work you do, It will pay off soon and your day is definitely coming.  Keep Pushing Sis.  *Peace*

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Sit Back, RELAX: Journal #1

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I haven’t really been blogging too much lately and I know that I have been missing in action (M.I.A).  I’ve decided to do things differently.  See I love to blog, but my type of blogging may not be what people are used to reading or what people would usually click on to read.  I Speak the truth, not fiction, not something made up or even something just to get a lot of reads.  I want people to understand what I am saying: Truly things that means something to me and maybe someone somewhere today needs to hear something I am saying or maybe what I am going through.  I am not big on social media, or trying to get people to read between the lines.  I want people to understand me, and understand that you are worth being understood.  Trust me someone on this place called earth is waiting to share their similar experiences with you and maybe even help you with your life journey.  They say everyone isn’t built for some things but what about life? Who is really built for life? Built to with stand some of the things that come their way? Everyone has problems and different scenarios of situations but who is really built for this life? Most of us aren’t.  We aren’t born into this world, with the knowledge on how to handle everything thrown at us, but the key thing is we try!!! WE TRY. We try our best, and we just do it, we live, that’s the only thing we can do.  SO I’ve decided to start back blogging, and back on the track of publishing my books because I want to be heard.  I don’t have many friends, but you don’t have to be my friend for me to touch your heart, or understand you, relate to you and confide in you.  Sometimes friends can be the worst to always reach to, when we need to be understood.  I not only want to put a focus on my Non Profit Brace First, INC., but also in my writing.  I will be journaling from here on out and my blog posts will officially be journals, so I will make this my journal #1 and I hope I can grasp your attention. Sit Back, RELAX, Grab popcorn, paper and even a pin because this journey is about to have you on the edge of your seat.  Thank you for joining in on my blogs, and also check out http://www.bracefirst.co to find out more about my non profit, up and running, 501(c)3 certified, for helping people in need. You can be apart of that too.

 

 

 

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Mind What Belongs to YOU

Do you remember being able to do whatever you did in peace? Without judgement? Without tattle tellers or snitches? Without haters?With out the whole world knowing?  Well I don’t remember those times because unfortunately, i never got the chance to experience a nosy free life.  nose

What does it mean when someone is nosy?
 Nosy people are a little too concerned with what other people are up to, and they tend to invade the privacy of others. A neighbor who keeps looking in your window is being nosy. Being nosy is always considered a negative trait. 
Trying to get rid of a nosy person is like trying to get rid of the fly that someone let in the house, and if you let them get in it is too hard to get them out.
There is no way for someone to be as successfull as they want to be if they are constantly worrying about the next person.  If you want to build your brand, your success, what ever it is you are trying to build up, then you need to mind what belongs to you, your OWN business.  People take too much time out of their day; to look into someone else’s business and that takes away from what they have going on personally. Statistics also show that people who tend to be nosier than some is because they feel bad about themselves.  There can be a lack of confidence as well as jealousy which can also be a cause of nosiness. https://www.2knowmyself.com/why_are_some_people_nosey
idk Many people have such a hard time figuring out who they are, learning their strengths, achieving their goals and figuring out what is their paths in life because they mind everyone’s business but their own.  When you are being nosy you are supporting someone else in a since, but while you are doing that who is supporting you? You being nosy doesn’t help you, but it makes you a fan of that person or that thing, instead of you watching your own things and supporting yourself. So let go of that jealous mind set and those nosy ways, or direct your nosiness to your business and focus on what you are doing.  Become your own number one fan.  Lets debate.
nosy boyHow do you feel about nosy people? Are you nosy? How do you approach nosy people?
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How to fix your broken Heart!! How to LET HIM GO!

DEAD RELATIONSHIP

Everyone gives relationship advice, and what works for some may not work for some.  But I do know for a fact a broken heart, won’t be forever broken.  The key to healing that broken heart of yours is to let it rip.  That’s right, let it be broken, and in the process it may split completely in half, but that is okay.  A broken heart is a temporary situation, that everyone eventually overcomes.  The last thing you want to do is to try and mend that broken heart with the same problem or person who caused it in the first place.  Everything that is broken, is not meant to be fixed, which is usually referred to relationships.  How do you know if it is permanently broken?  If it happens time and time again, it is damaged, tarnished, broken, beyond repair.  Women fight so hard for relationships to work, even men sometimes, when it isn’t meant to work.  If the issue keeps occurring, and you have prayed about it, and you fought for it, and you beat yourself down trying to bring that person up so bad, that it crumbles you, and turns you into someone else, leave him or her alone, sis or brother.  What you find in one you will Find and more in someone else. Image result for a man leaving a woman

(How To Leave One Man For Another, And Not Make It Messy
 March 15, 2013  |  

Talking about our problems 100 % of the day is okay, but it causes us to hurt a little more.  If you keep a diary that may be better than anything when trying to cope with our break ups.  Never let a man/woman know you are hurting as bad as you are hurting.  Enjoy yourself, love yourself, pick yourself up and do something that you have always wanted to do and you thought you could never do.  You will be over him or her in no time. your heart will be mended in no time.  You will grow within yourself and you will love the person you have become and you will began to remember who you are.  Most women are afraid of letting a man go because they don’t want another woman to have her man after he has grown and become the person that they wanted him to be.  But the thing is, what if he wasn’t meant to grow for you? What if he wasn’t meant to be that great man for you? What if he wasn’t meant for you? I guarantee without a doubt, the man who was meant to grow for you or with you, is going to be prepared to do just that……. LET HIM GO SIS.  PRAY ABOUT IT.  LEAVE IT IN GODS HANDS. MOVE ON.  God puts nothing on us we can’t bear. You just have to make that first step in moving forward.  Dead the relationship…. Don’t try to fix something broken that is meant to be broken and don’t keep fighting in the ring alone!!!

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Vacation Diaries

vacation diaries-zanzibar-dafashionfreak-14On July 2, 2018 I went on a family vacation.  It was my first trip to visit all of my family in Miami with my boyfriend and with all the kids.  I was nervous about the trip and also I didn’t know what to expect.  What changed? Has my family changed? I have four kids now so i was nervous about that being a huge topic, just wasn’t sure I was ready for that.  I also didn’t want to leave work.  I hadn’t missed work in a while, let alone take a week away, I would usually travel on weekends when I didn’t have to work.  Well, Anyways, I visited family while I was down there.  Family came together, and this trip was something that we all needed not just me.  Cousins who stayed away came back to see Grandma and Everything fell in place.  I enjoyed my time with my kids and my boyfriend but I was also thankful that I did take that time away to go and see my family.  I took that time away to go relax and take a breather from work.  My kids got that experience of seeing my childhood, and where I grew up the most.  My family loved on my kids like they had been around them for years, and it brought joy to my heart.  My vacation was amazing.  I didn’t get to see everything I wanted to see, or do everything I wanted to do, but I did get that time with family, that I had been missing.  Time that I should have made the decision to initiate a while ago, but so thankful that I took that leap on this trip.  Family is everything, and Time can not be given back to us when we miss it.  Take those leaps and steps to try to keep those bonds with family.  Let the people who love you get a chance, love those who love you back.  Don’t dwell on the pass to hard or judgments that you expect to come, that you may never here, or that may never come at all.  Appreciate what you have in front of you and do what you can to make it last.

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FAMILY IS EVERYTHING….FAMILY IS LOVE…..FAMILY IS ALWAYS WAITING FOR YOU!!!

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***Ego Twisted***

alter ego

Everyone has  a different face, a different attitude, different personality, a different ego (Or shall I say Alter Ego).  Even the sweetest person has the tendency to flip, switch up or turn into a different person.  Whether its in the bedroom, in private or even when the situation calls for a switch up.  Everyone has an Alter ego, some have one and some have many.  What’s your alter ego an what’s your favorite face to put on? Mines is definitely My fun side when I go out with my girls.  I call her Melissa, and even when I play dress up for my guy and I call her Ashley,  what’s your alter ego’s name? How many do you have? What’s your favorite one?

Comment, like, share.  Alter Ego’s…….What’s yours?

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A Broken Rose…. The Truth about Love and Hate…

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Why does a broken rose symbolize Love and Hate? Why not a heart that is broken in half, or a heart with an arrow going through it?  Why not a face flooded with tears but at the same time a smile spreading from ear to ear? What is Love and what is hate? How do they relate? This blog/ short story will answer many questions today. Why is hate still considered love and how in order to hate you had to have once loved.

She opened her eyes, and stared at the man laying next to her.  The man who made her smile every moment that he was with her and every moment that they were apart. The man who gave her flutters in her stomach, and lit a fire in her heart.  She never felt cold, as long as she knew he was loving her. He would bring her flowers and random trinkets, just so she knew that she was loved.  She didn’t have to ask him to wait on her hand and feet, that was just something he loved to do.  He made her feel like the queen that she deserved to be and let her know how beautiful she was and how amazing she was, non stop.  She would confess her love to him on a daily bases because the way he made her feel showed her that he loved her unconditionally.  While he showered her with gifts and affection, she decided to do something great for him for a chance. She bought him expensive trinkets and she gave her entire heart to him.  She began living and breathing for him it seemed.  She needed his attention and needed to feel his hand and lips on her body.  If he wasn’t around she would panic because she was so used to his love and everlasting touch.  He slowly began coming in late and missing her calls. Ignoring her messages and sending her to his voicemail.  She would stay up late just so that she could get a glimpse of his face before closing her eyes.  When suddenly things had gotten worse and he stopped coming home.  She would panic and worry because she had made him such a huge part of her life.  She would drop everything when he called, and always has.  The gifts stopped, and the sweet text stopped.  Soon she realized she spent most of her nights and days alone.  “Why don’t you treat me the same anymore, is it that you love another?” She asked him one day. “No, i could never. I just been busy.” He responded. That night he fell asleep and she tried to look inside of his phone but it was locked and had a pass code.  She sighed with disappointment, for he had never had a pass code before.

Two days passed and she received a message on instagram in her inbox, from a girl she did not know.  The message read: ‘I am Marie and I am pregnant with your boyfriends baby. I am due in about two weeks, and he left from here the other day and has been ignoring me since. I told him i would not tell you but he is trying to ignore me and I can not deal with that, when our baby is coming. Can you tell him to call me?’ Attached to the message was a picture of a very fair toned, pretty girl with a stomach that looked like the baby was coming any day now.  The girl called Him and he did not answer.  She blew his phone up leaving message after message and she fell to her knees with tears dripping from her eyes.  She waited until he called back and he never did. Hours had passed and she heard nothing.  She picked her phone up and decided to go snoop, to look at the girls page.  Of course it was not private.  5 minutes ago marie had posted a video of the girls’ boyfriend rubbing and kissing her baby belly.  He even looked at the camera and said our family is almost complete.  “but he did not tell me we were done, we are still together,’ the girl cried.  All his lies had broken her.  He was having a kid with someone else and was ignoring her, and making her look like a fool.  This had broken her beyond belief. She felt that she was no longer that beautiful woman he said she was, she was no longer the queen she thought she deserved to be, she wasn’t meant to be loved unconditionally. She felt betrayed, and thrown to the side, by the man she had given her all to and altered her life to be with eternally.  She was the rose, that had broken in the bouquet, as he picked a more beautiful rose and chose to keep it instead. From that moment on she hated him. She hated him because she loved him so much and he had betrayed her.  She hated him because she wanted him to love her like he said he did but didn’t. That love became hate, and she felt that she could never love or trust again.


Hate- intense hostility and aversion usually deriving from fear, anger, or sense of injury. Extreme dislike or disgust. http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/hate

These are feelings that no one can express and feel if they weren’t familiar with, or once close to the object or person.  I am afraid of you because you hurt me or someone hurt me and they were like you. Therefore, i am angry and I hate you.  

Moral to the story:  To hate is to have loved once before.  Hate is usually derived from Love or Lust, or being betrayed, or mistreated in some type of wait.  You can’t hate, something unfamiliar.  What do you think? Visit  http://www.quora.com/Is-hate-derived-from-love  For more info and insights on how hate is derived from love or  http://www.independent.co.uk/news/science/scientists-prove-it-really-is-a-thin-line-between-love-and-hate-976901.html  to see how love and hate are so tightly linked.  Share your comments and feelings.  Let’s debate.

 

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How much does Age matter in a relationship?

IMG_0437 (1)  I’ve seen this conversation occur several times between women and men, men and men and women and women.  The question still remains ‘How much does age matter in a relationship?’ aka ‘How important is age difference and what are the success rates?’  

Occording to: AARO.org (https://www.aarp.org/home-family/friends-family/info-2017/age-differences-between-couples-fd.html), ‘The larger the age gap in a relationship the more likely the relationship will end in a divorce’- quoted from Randy Olsen.  What does this quote mean exactly? Does it mean that the older crowd not have what it takes to keep the fire lit or is it that the younger crowd not have any experience when it comes to certain things in a relationship or certain parts of the body? I’ve also visited psychology today to get a little more insight on this specific topic. One of their key questions was; ‘is there something about an age gap that can make or break a relationship?’ There are some relationships that last while others parish.  They also agree that the farther apart the age gap the less of a chance the couple has at lasting. They reported on a study that showed that relations ships with the partners being within five years of each others age, they are more likely to last than partners whom are 10 to 20 years apart.  They closer the age the happier they are together, the farther of age the less in common they have, and therefore they can not provide their partner with the needs that they are looking for. Visit:  http://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/navigating-the-love-gap/201802/is-big-age-difference-problematic-relationship  for more info on their age gap studies.

Well you’ve heard it here that age different can matter when it comes to being in a relationship, especially if you want that relationship to develop and to last.  So try to think about your next relationship if you’re not currently in one.  I really would like to hear opinions and thoughts on this one.  Is your spouse or significant other older or younger than you? If so how much is the gap? How do you feel about these studies?

 

Share, Share, Share and comment.  I would love to hear from you.